Composure is one of the many superpowers women have developed to get through the world. No matter where she may be from she’s had to keep her composure.
Although, for many years it has overthrown the fire that burns within her. It has swallowed her voice and makes her struggle to speak up, or feel openly, or think for herself, or sometimes she struggles to just exist.
Women get broken down, categorized and placed into boxes based on physicality, and other outer appearances. The world has been running like this for thousands of years. It makes sense why one might have a hard time changing their point of view. However, if one views a woman through this lens or places her in this one box then they have not taken the time to get to know her. They are viewing her from a distance.
I dare you to look closer.
Look into her eyes and see her fire. Look at the way she carries herself in spite of the world that forces her to be different.
She is not her skin color. She is not a body. She is not an empty thing, or a feather that can be blown about, or picked up without permission. She is not dirty, or wrong, or too much, or too little. She is not something that can be labeled, or tossed around because you are unsatisfied with how she shows up. She is not yours to own. She cannot be bought. She is not weak, broken, frail, damaged, or too emotional. She is not dramatic, or bossy, or small. She is not someone to take advantage of. She is not nothing. She cannot be who you want her to be. There is not a one-size-fits-all box that she can be placed in. She cannot be someone else just to make you feel comfortable. She cannot be defined in any one way so that you can feel better.
A woman has no definition, except that she is a female human, but no matter where she’s from a woman is her own person. A woman is a person. She has a heart, a mind, and a soul. She’s alive inside. She has passions, desires, and dreams. She has a voice that echos through her every day, and that yearns to be respected in the world. She is loud, and she is soft. She is restless, and she is calm. She is strong in every sense of the word. She is grounded, and takes ownership for herself. She is bold, brilliant, and beautiful. She is vulnerable, and brave. She is creative, and smart. She is poised, and ruthless. She is a fighter, and a lover. She is a peacemaker, and a rebel. She is nurturing, protective, steadfast, and sweet. She is tender, and firm.
Each woman operates differently. Some have hearts that are out for all to see, pouring out feelings like a running fountain. Other women keep their hearts tucked away, and hidden so that no one can even look at them. Some women have minds that spin with constant thoughts like a hamster on a wheel. Other women have minds that are quiet, and grounded, unable to be pushed around by outside forces. Each woman has experienced both.
Some women are serious, others are funny, and some are both. Some women are gentle, others are rough, and some are both. Some women are empathetic, others are sympathetic, and some are both. Some women like to go hiking, some like to sit quietly with a book, and others like to do both. Some women wear makeup, others don’t, and some do both. Some women wear dresses, and others prefer pants. It’s all personal preference. Each one is unique, and that is just right.
So try to look closer. Get to know her as an individual. She is not a category, and she is not her gender. She is a person. She is allowed to be. Let her be. Love her for her being. That is all. That is all that she needs and all you need to do. Love her for her being and let her be.
Photo: painted by Honor Haase