My head and heart, my life, feels like a tossed deck of cards. Thoughts, feelings, and activities fly up in the air and float everywhere.
They are too hard to organize so I just watch them flutter through the air in a big, spread out mass.
Someone catch them, please? Help me put the pieces back together. Why must we be on our own to organize our deck of cards?
The deck seems to grow as time goes on. It starts out as a regular 52-card deck, but then we reach adulthood. We are required to “leave the nest” and fend for ourselves. So the deck becomes a 104-card deck. It doubles in size.
Emotions, thoughts, dreams, desires, and requirements grow as life moves on, then from 104 to 208. Cards stack up. We do our best to manage it all but it’s a lot for one being so eventually we sit back and watch the deck collapse into the air again.
I always drop my deck of cards. It’s mostly a deck of thoughts and feelings that feel too big for me to hold and life feels off, and I feel insignificant that the deck gets jostled far too often. It explodes far too easily, but it’s something I’ve realized I’ve been working on all my life. I’ve seen improvement, but sometimes I get so bored and restless that the progress isn’t good enough for me. I’m unsatisfied with my life and myself that the cards go up again!
Just take a breath and watch them go. Take another breath and crack a smile, as the chaos flies above you.
Just take a breath and cry, if you need to. Take another breath and know that what goes up must come down. Storms rage, but at some point, even the storm gets tired of going. So it must stop. When it does subside breathe again, collect your deck of cards, and play on. That’s all you can do!