The parable of the Drowning Man has come to mind this morning.

My friends have trickled into my experience like the various things that God sent the drowning man.

The man was convinced that God was going to save him. He was sure that God would reach out directly and rescue him. It wasn’t until the man passed away and angrily talked to God directly that he realized God had been there the whole time. The man learned that God tried to save him by sending him various rescuers. It didn’t seem like God was saving the man to the man because he had a certain idea of how he’d like to be saved.

As humans we get caught in our egos. Sometimes…correction, often we get really stuck in our egos. We put on our colored glasses and look at the world in a “here’s how things are going to happen” kind of way. We take an “all or nothing” approach to life. Then when things don’t happen in that one specific way it is very upsetting.

Like a disgruntled customer in a restaurant we flag down the waitress. “Um…excuse me. Yeah, hi. These french fries are cold and I ordered chicken. Where is it?”

The waitress responds gently, “Well, we are out of chicken. So you ordered the steak instead and I guess you finished it?”

The customer looks at his plate “Oh.”

“As for the fries…” The waitress continues, “You were talking with the people at your table. Fries get cold quickly. They were hot when I brought them to you, but if you’d like I can warm them up for you?”

“That’s okay. Thanks.” the customer says.

We must be willing to see that what we get may not be exactly what we wanted, but we are 100% provided for and blessed.

I have often craved to be rescued. I get lost in my fantasies of being whisked away by an imaginary boyfriend. The classic knight in shining armor tale, but instead of a knight, he’s just a man. And instead of armor he wears jeans and a plaid shirt. So basically I guess I’m attracted to the Brawny paper towel guy.

Anyhow, my point… while Disney made being rescued by a sexy man look really good to young viewers, like me… I don’t need it. And while we often take being rescued by God literally, it comes in various forms.

Sometimes it’s a loving hand to hold. Sometimes it’s being able to sit with your significant other on the couch. Sometimes it’s family that comes over to help when life gets overwhelming. However for many people who live on their own and are trying to make things work on their own, like me, it’s our friends that save the day.

So today I am feeling humbled and very grateful for my friends that live far and wide. I’m grateful for their patience, their loyalty, and their love. I often feel like I didn’t do enough to deserve such wonderful people. However we have no idea how our existence makes a difference in the lives of others. We don’t have to do a whole lot to make an impact. We are all tapestries and we all bring a unique set of colorful threads to the masterpiece of our world. 

The drowning man missed a key element of beauty that exists in this world. It wasn’t until she died that he understood how profoundly connected we all are. And no matter what you call God we are all interconnected in the most beautiful ways to that Source. When one thread takes themselves out of the mix for whatever reason then the grand design gets hurt.

Dear friends,

Keep being you! I am humbled by your beauty and grateful to be a witness to all that you are. I love you.

The world isn’t “one size fits all”. Did you know that?

The world is a kaleidoscope of colorful people, beautiful things, and a sea of foods for the palate. All of these varieties allow individuals to pick what they like, who they want to be and what feels good to them in each moment.

It’s a very nice thing to have variety, but somehow we forget about it. The world isn’t “one size fits all”. Why do we try so hard to make it so?

Preferences. Everyone has preferences and that is very good because they are taking care of themselves. These preferences make up who they are. It does not confine them. It allows them to expand into who they naturally are. That is beautiful.

This world is not “one size fits all” no matter how hard we try. To say that “one size fits all” puts someone into a box that is uncomfortable and not right for them. Allowing for preferences to be chosen and shared gives a much needed breath to our beautiful kaleidoscope selves and the lovely kaleidoscope that is our world.

Love the kaleidoscope!

For decades I have been searching the corners of my mind and looking through every outside source to figure out how to make all the pieces of my life work in such a way that would be pleasing to the rest of the world. I have tried to do this with myself too. How do I become someone that everyone wants? How can I make my heart beat in such a way that others will understand? How can I make my body move at a pace that is in rhythm with the pace of the world and that looks stunning at the same time? Is there a way to avoid looking clunky, awkward and strange? How can I get all of the important adult tasks done and still allow my soul to breathe? How do I let my soul have it’s time to express itself while so many other things are calling for my attention?

The world gave me an answer to the latter a long time ago. The answer was “It cannot be done.” It is impossible to do all the creative things and practice adulthood at the same time. The world seemed to scream at me, “It’s all or nothing!” So, my soul just burrowed under a pile of unfinished stories, half painted drawings, and many burned hopes. It was dark, cold, and full of ashes. My soul lives there still.

I continue to search and research, and dig to find out how to fit into the lightning speed of the world? How do I make myself operate the way so many have asked me to operate or the way I’ve observed so many operating?

It’s hard to tell if my life is really mine. Is my life mine? Or does my life belong to the world to manipulate it and me forever and always?

The moment you open your mouth to tell me who I should be, how I should be, offer a suggestion, a well-intention piece of advice or any other comment regarding me and my life, I have already thought it through. I have felt all the nuances of the possibilities and felt my way into each situation. I have mentally scoured and researched all the various ways to get the thing I need, create something in an affordable way, make something happen, feel better about myself in the world or what have you. I am living the life I must breathe into and walk through the best I can. And I’m doing it every day. So please, world, either take time to see me or give me space. Dear world, you have to fucking slow down because people’s minds are close to bursting. People’s hearts and bodies are begging for love and attention. And people’s souls are slowly dying.

For decades people’s souls have begged and died for freedom. When will my soul fly free? When will we all get to feel like free souls? Inquiring minds want to know. Exhausted bodies want to be tenderly cared for. Desperate hearts want to feel into themselves and just be.

“But it’s dark down here”, My soul observes, “Alive, alive, alive! I just want to feel alive, rested and well…but here I sit in this cold place. There’s no one to care for me, except myself. The world sends out so many mixed messages that it’s hard to filter through them on your own. It’s hard to let the things people say roll off your back the way water rolls off the back of a duck. It’s hard to release and let yourself be completely in a world that has so many opinions, judgments, and unhealed heartbreaks of their own. Somehow there is not enough time in the day to come together and let each other be. It’s no mystery why many are always apologizing for what they do, and others are going insane. And before you open your mouth to say, “Yeah, that’s tough.” or “Well, that’s life.” or “Welcome to the world.” or “Yeah, well, it’s a cold world out there.” I implore you to just think about it. Sit with yourself. What about yourself needs healing or improvement? What about yourself or in your life do you need help with? Have you ever asked for help? Have you ever asked for help but felt like a burden to the other the whole time they were offering their help? Have you ever wanted to ask for help but felt too embarrassed to ask, so you never did? How many times was that successful? Did you feel good after doing it yourself? Or were you just tired as you thought about how nice it would be to have someone support you in the endeavor? Just think about it…” My soul waits patiently for attention.

Our souls wait on the edge of their cold cages, but healing needs to happen individually first. Sit with it. A little healing for one person brings healing and redemption to mankind.