Blending In

When I was younger, I had an instinct to blend in.

Sometimes the instinct was more than just blending in, but instead to become invisible.

I don’t know where that came from, but it set in quickly. I was scared of a lot. Mostly though I was scared of outside reactions.

Everything that happened outside of my control scared me. I was deeply worried about outside responses to my very existence. The world outside my limited control was wildly unpredictable. I startled easily it seemed.

It felt safe to blend in, be invisible, to do exactly as I was told and then my presence might be satisfying to others.

Although inside nothing felt quite right. There was no peace and fear grew within me.

I was hurting.

Soon I realized that no matter how hard you might try to be pleasing to all you meet and to be perfect for them. Someone won’t be pleased.

No matter how hard you might try to keep everyone from being upset. There will always be someone who’s upset.

Blending in or trying to be invisible does more harm than good.

So why not let yourself exist and learn to embrace your wholeness?