“Take the costume off”, they whispered.
I’ve lived in this character with many heavy worries, wearing her costume for many years. I’ve worked hard to take it off. Tiny pieces of fabric have come off. It started with the lace from the sleeve cuffs, then the lace from the collar. Perhaps a few buttons fell off along the way, but most of the costume remained. It grew in weight and eventually clung to me like a strait jacket that I got used to.
My heart and soul whispered as they suffocated, “Take the costume off. Be ye opened. Please take the costume off.”
The costume took my joy. It ran away with my voice, and brainwashed me into feeling intense fear of living for myself. I had grown used to working and living for others. I was the walking dead and I made that my job. I forgot I existed. I forgot I was allowed to just exist.
Heart and soul have whispered long enough. They’ve had their fill. Today they told me in a loud voice, “Take the costume off. It’s your voice. Take the costume off and own YOUR voice because it’s YOUR VOICE!”
Today heart and soul told me in a clear voice, “Take the costume off. Reverse the character. Rewrite your life because it’s YOUR life. LIVE YOUR LIFE! LOVE YOUR LIFE! LOVE YOURSELF!”
Today I learned that I don’t and cannot live for anyone else anymore.
Today I learned that those that love me with their whole heart want me to live MY life, and not theirs. Those that love me with their whole heart will never leave me. Those that love me with their whole heart will never judge me for speaking up. Those that love me with their whole heart will not be voices of attack that stick to me, but voices of reason, and gentle guiding hands full of love. Those that love me with their whole heart will stand behind me with conviction of my ability to rule my world and great compassion for how I show up. Those that love me with all their heart will allow me to be myself in totality and not ask me to be someone else so that they can be comfortable.
So it’s time to reverse the character known as the depressed, anxious victim. It is time to completely take the costume off. It is time to own my voice in its totality. It is time to accept the air in my lungs and live life for Life’s sake!
Heart and soul can no longer whisper. The cage is damaged. It is time to be Freeing Beauty. She aches for her wings.
I am enough.
Freeing Beauty is so enough. Love her because she is enough.
As you do this, as you love Freeing Beauty for all she is then the love from others will not feel so foreign to you. The love from others will feel right, good, and well deserved.
But first, step one. Love Freeing Beauty with your whole heart!
I will make it my mission to love Freeing Beauty with my whole heart.